The Burdens I Invented.

There are days I wake up already heavy.

Not because I’ve lifted anything, not because something actually happened, but because of this invisible load on my chest.
It’s the list of responsibilities, expectations, mistakes, promises I made, and the “should-have beens” that sit quietly in my mind.

That’s the weight I carry.
But then there’s another weight… the weight I think I am.

It’s that whisper inside my head that says,
“Are you dragging people down?”
“Are they tired of you?”
“Do they feel stuck with you the way you sometimes feel stuck with yourself?”

And suddenly, I’m not only carrying my own struggles,  I’m carrying the imaginary version of myself that I’ve convinced others to see me as.

Sometimes, I wonder: Where did this belief even come from?
Maybe it started when I was younger and felt like I disappointed someone. Maybe it’s from all the times I said sorry without even knowing why.
Maybe it’s from growing up thinking love has to be earned, and that if I stumble, people will decide I’m too much.

But here’s the truth I keep forgetting:
The people who love us aren’t secretly counting the times we’re low.
They’re not carrying a scoreboard of our failures.
Half the “weight” I think I am exists only in my own mind.

There’s a huge difference between being a burden and just being human. We blur those lines too often. We think asking for help makes us feel heavy. We believe crying too much makes us heavy. We think needing reassurance makes us heavy.

But maybe, just maybe, what makes us heavy is the pretending. Pretending we’re okay. Pretending we can do it all alone. Pretending we don’t need anyone. Because honestly, being real, being soft, being flawed- That’s not a weight. That’s the connection.

Reminder: The weight you carry is not the same as the weight you think you are.
And sometimes, the heaviest thing we hold… is a lie we’ve been telling ourselves for too long.